Alsana’s temper is understandable. Neena’s perspective on how the world has changed and offers a nuanced world view is respectable. Clara’s desire to please and blend in is relatable. These three women embody so much of what womanhood means. Alsana holds power in her home, and yet she lacks power all the same. Neena seems to be young and naïve within the trio, the one who believes change and equality is possible. And Clara, well Clara seems to get by all the same. Alsana and Clara have both married older men, but in stark contrast to our present day culture, these women were not afforded much other choice. To imagine being in my 50s and attempting to raise a child is insane to me, and yet Alsana’s 50-something year old husband will father two small boys. Clara’s will father a small young girl. What struck me as I was reading was Alsana’s position on silence in a relationship – the idea that it is favorable to communication is foreign to me. I wonder what it must be like, to keep grievances and ideals to one’s self. I wonder what it must be like for Samad, to be an intellectual so obviously craving companionship and intellect, to live in a home centered around silence. I wonder how lowly Samad must feel, to know he is better than the position he is in and yet be so stagnant and stuck in the position altogether. I found myself curious as to what the benefits were for serving in one’s country. I wondered if perhaps Samad is not considered a citizen and thus cannot participate in positions and careers that would make him feel worthy. More than that, though, I felt the pain in Alsana’s words. In her yearning for food and in her frustration with confinement to the home and her few friends. I did find hope in this particular piece. I only found a smidge of understanding in a world and time I still do not understand. Resources: Miller, D. (n.d.). Report: States Without Medicaid Expansion Have Higher Maternal, Infant Death Rates. Retrieved June 14, 2020, from https://wusfnews.wusf.usf.edu/post/report-states-without-medicaid-expansion-have-higher-maternal-infant-death-rates Smith, Z. (2020, June 11). The Waiter's Wife. Retrieved June 14, 2020, from https://granta.com/the-waiters-wife/
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Nadine Gordimer wrote “The Moment Before the Gun Went Off,” a short story about a farmer in South Africa who has accidentally shot his black farm-hand boy. The story takes place at the fall of apartheid and thus reflects a world in which an oppressed people have reached a freedom that cannot truly be reached. Gordimer’s story was short in-deed. The pacing was perfection: there were enough details to keep me engaged and not so many that as a reader I felt compelled to skim ahead. Additionally, the sentences consisted of both compound and simple, which I felt ensured the pacing did not go too quickly so as to reveal major details ahead of time. Additionally, Gordimer was cautious so as to distract the audience from understanding too soon that the boy was in-fact the farmer’s son. There were subtle details that hinted at a deeper connection between the farmer and the black boy: he was the favorite boy on the farm, he sobbed a dirty, embarrassing sob at the death of the boy, the mother would not make eye contact with the farmer at the funeral, the farmer’s eyes could not be torn from the grave. Yet, what I liked about these details is they did not become bold until we learned the farmer’s relation to the boy. I also found the parallels between today’s reaction to George Floyd’s death and the death of the young black farm boy, Lucas, to be quite interesting: boycotts and destroying property. It seems from the beginning of time riots have been a way to rise above the circumstances, to demand change and yet, I feel the world returns to the way it was continuously. One aspect that struck me was, “Nothing satisfies them in the cities: blacks can sit and drink in white hotels now, the Immorality Act has gone, blacks can sleep with whites….it’s not even a crime anymore” (Gordimer, n.d.). How disheartening. How ignorant. How unsatisfactory. How dehumanizing. Blacks were still being treated unequally. Their lives were still less valuable. They were still seen as less than, lower in socioeconomic status, dirty, and replaceable. I felt this strongly in the way the “young black man[‘s]” name was known and yet used only once (Gordimer, n.d.). I felt myself saying “his name is Lucas” and yet I continued to read words that only described the color of his skin and the work that he did. I believe Gordimer did this with intention. I believe she wanted to illustrate an emotional disconnect. To an extent, I believe she did this for two reasons: 1.Gordimer knew she would be working with a predominantly white audience. 2.Gordimer wanted to evoke an emotional reaction when she revealed WHY the young black man mattered. Perhaps, in a subtle way, she was shaming us all for not emotionally investing in Lucas before we knew why his life mattered. Perhaps she knew Lucas would matter universally when depicting an image of a father accidentally killing his son. Perhaps she understood why the silenced become aggressors when the world feels hard. More, though: Nadine Gordimer got it. She really got it. I just hope one day we spend more time listening and less time watching in disbelief. I hope one day history can finally stop repeating itself. Resources: Gordimer, N. (n.d.). The Moment Before the Gun Went Off. Retrieved June 12, 2020, from http://www.pelister.org/literature/Gordimer/gun.html TodayShow. (2020, June 2). Photos capture emotional moment between mom and son at Chicago protest. Retrieved June 12, 2020, from https://www.today.com/parents/viral-chicago-protest-photo-captures-emotional-mom-baby-t183017 As I have begun to read Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, the level of colloquialism strikes me. I feel a great deal of works from this time period lack the conversational aspect he is so well versed in utilizing. The 1900s thus far has proven to be works that reflect a more sophisticated language, and yet Conrad’s diction has yet to cause a single hiccup. Instead, I find myself becoming enchanted by the almost lyrical prose. For instance, “And indeed nothing is easier for a man who has, as the phrase goes, ‘followed the sea’ with reverence and affection that to evoke the great spirit of the past upon the lower reaches of the Thames” (Conrad). The author could have written he was reflecting on the past or the sea stirs up memories, but instead he stated this so beautifully. As I read Part 1, I am reminded a bit of what we are facing today with the Black Lives Matter protests and movement. Marlow is on a journey to Central Station. Marlow has with him 60 native individuals who are responsible for the heavy lifting and end up having to carry the obese man who keeps passing out along the way. The natives eventually drop this man, upon which the obese man demands that Marlow do something about it, yet he did nothing. Earlier, Marlow describes the people as “dying slowly,” “not enemies, they were not criminals, they were nothing earthly now – nothing but black shadows of disease and starvation, lying confusedly in the greenish gloom” (Conrad, 2020). This is heart wrenching and angering and shameful and sad. Marlow speaks with compassion and seems to understand something many others did not – the humanity of those who are different from ourselves. There is so much superiority rooted in whiteness, an entitlement and arrogance attached to flesh. I have and will always find it disturbing. As a human population, our differences exist in just one percent of our genetic composition. The other 99% is the very same. Marlow is clearly taunted and plagued by what he saw, and rightly so. It is no surprise to me that Marlow appears to unravel. He has seen and witnessed grotesque behavior and while he is articulating the horrors of the jungle, he still cannot fully articulate all that he saw. Marlow paints a picture of what he experienced, but expecting the others to comprehend is impossible as they inhabit, and have always inhabited, a “civilized” world (Conrad, 2020). There is a Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde likeness to A Heart of Darkness in the essence that Marlow has unraveled and was a different person before his Congo excursion. However, Marlow seems to suffer more from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder than to have a truly split/alternate identity (Stevenson, 2019). So while Jekyll descended into complete madness, thus resulting in the alter ego Hyde, Marlow seems to have been more emotionally impacted by his trauma. Upon his return, Marlow’s Aunt attempted to nurse him back to health, to no true avail. I suppose this speaks to all illness of the mind – permanent, everlasting, and so deeply rooted. Our brains have always been rewired by trauma; something that impacts us and seems to transform and that sadness becomes a core memory. Resources: Conrad, J. (2020). Heart of Darkness. Retrieved June 7, 2020, from https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/99/heart-of-darkness/1688/part-1/ Disney/Pixar's Inside Out - Sadness Lifesize Standup Cardboard Cutouts. (2020). Retrieved June 7, 2020, from https://www.allposters.com/-sp/Disney-Pixar-s Inside-Out-Sadness-Lifesize-Standup-Posters_i13273398_.htm Stevenson, R. L. (2019). Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde . Place of publication not identified: Legend Press. To be quite honest, I am having an incredibly terrible time with the readings from the last two weeks. I am finding them painful in opposition to profound. My life has been plagued by affairs and the knowledge of the havoc affairs create on the emotional, psychological, and physical being is excruciating. I should be comparing the works to other literary works, and considering affairs or women leaving is a strong commonality, I ought to have something here for you. Instead, trauma often blocks memory of anything that triggers said trauma. It is also the very reason I have dragged my feet in posting this past week. So today, I have my life story to offer you:
My parents were married twenty-four years when an affair caused my parents to divorce. It was not a prolonged affair; it had only lasted six weeks. It took six weeks for 27 years of being together, 25 of them married, to destroy a relationship. “No one will put up with him the way I do,” is something Molly stated and the answer is yes someone will (Joyce, 2020). To so willingly destroy a relationship is disgusting to me. Molly seems to think she will be making Bloom jealous, as though he is incapable of, or does not deserve, better. I also understand he engaged in affairs with other women, which would indeed mean that Molly also deserved better. Her inner monologue is interesting and forthcoming and reveals both what appears to be a lack of education and deep insight. Regardless, I cannot help but wonder how this storyline might be different if it were told from the perspective of a man. While Molly comes across as occasionally crude, “he might want to do it on the train by tipping the guard….usual idiots of men gaping at us,” she also displays an occasional bit of sympathy and doubt, clearly engaging in affairs almost out of spite (Joyce, 2020). I am quite honestly reminded of Ozark, a television show on Netflix, of Wendy. Wendy is the wife of Marty Byrde. Wendy was in a severe car accident that ultimately resulted in what is assumed, but not said to be, a miscarriage. She becomes depressed and seeks an outlet from her strained relationship with her husband. Thus, she delves into an affair with a man by the name of Gary. While Wendy is not nearly as self-centered as I believe Molly to be, Wendy is hurting similarly to Molly. I believe so often it is disappointment and deep hurt that launch humans into seeking relationships outside of the vows they have taken (Dubuque and Williams, 2017). To an extent, I admire Molly’s boldness. Having an affair as a woman during this time could have caused her to lose everything. And yet, I wish she had been caught. I wish Bloom had come clean. I wish honesty was more valuable than secrecy. Secrecy, though, harbors mystery and lust and disgust and shame. Honesty – Honesty is for those who are ready to be free and perhaps too often we are too busy loathing ourselves to believe we are worthy of the freedom the truth brings. Resources Joyce, J. (2020). Episode 18 - Penelope. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from http://www.online- literature.com/james_joyce/ulysses/18/ Dubuque, Bill and Williams, Mark, creators. Ozark. 2017. Netflix. Song to Joanne, by Mina Loy, seems to be rather advanced for its time. Loy discusses sexuality as well as makes bold statements of expression throughout. For instance, the stanza “when we lifted our eye-lids on Love A cosmos of coloured voices and laughing honey” is such a sensual scene. Loy paints a picture of love that is literally out of this world, a love that is wild enough and sweet enough to portray an almost drunkenness. Similarly though, it seems Loy also questions the impact being with someone has on an individual: “Or are you only the other half of an ego’s necessity scourging pride with compassion to the shallow sound of dissonance and boom of escaping breath.” It is as though Loy is questioning our innate need to be with another person. She is almost stating that sex is simply animalistic and affirmation of attractiveness in opposition to uniting two individuals fully.
Marsha Bryant discusses five key points a reader ought to notice as he/she reads. Among them are the following: anti-romantic love poems and body mechanics. Bryant states Loy’s poem is “rooted in the ground, the everyday, the animal” (Bryant, 2019). We are able to see this right away as we are introduced to “Pig Cupid,” a stark contrast from the Cupid we are all so familiar with. Bryant also makes statements that showcase how Loy focuses on the way the body engages with another person. “Flesh from flesh draws the inseparable delight kissing at gasps to catch it” is my favorite stanza within the entire poem. It is so sexy and creates so much yearning while also talking about only the movement of the bodies as they mold into one. Loy also draws attention to abortion, something that at the time was considered “culturally and politically [defined] as taking a human life” (Peterson, 2012). In the beginning, early 1800s, aborting an early pregnancy prior to the fetus’ first movements was a private matter controlled by the woman as opposed to being a crime. While abortion was eventually deemed a crime, the belief in Europe was that abortions “helped unfortunate women in difficult situations” (Peterson, 2012). In which case, it was taboo to speak of publicly but it was also no seen as an act of promiscuity as it is in American culture. The fact that Loy explicitly states, “vaulted an unimaginable family bird-like abortions with human throats and wisdom’s eyes” is bold. However, I also felt there was pain here. It was like a dark memory she seemed ready to erase. Overall, Loy’s work is sensual and vibrant while alluding to grotesque details in a fairly elegant way. Resources Bryant, M. (2019, February 6). Five Things about Mina Loy's "Songs to Joannes". Retrieved May 29, 2020, from https://people.clas.ufl.edu/mbryant/2019/02/06/five-things-about-mina-loys-songs-to-joannes/ Loy, M. (2019, May 11). Songs to Joannes, por Mina Loy. Retrieved May 29, 2020, from https://www.poeticous.com/mina-loy/songs-to-joannes?locale=es Peterson, A. M. (2012, November). From Commonplace to Controversial: The History of Abortion. Retrieved May 29, 2020, from https://origins.osu.edu/article/commonplace-controversial-different-histories-abortion-europe-and-united-states I found The Defense of Guenevere to be rather confusing and a bit hectic. I felt that Guenevere was talking a significant portion of the time; Guenevere was also rambling throughout the poem. I felt as though she was avoiding addressing her affair altogether. I felt her actions, bursting into tears frequently and over explaining, made Guenevere out to be quite guilty. I also felt curious as to where this poem was taking place. I envisioned her at the foot of the King and Sir Launcelot, explaining her actions while not exactly explaining much at all.
Guenevere also alternates between a blue and red cloth. I assume the blue is representative of Heaven while red represents hell. Guenevere is said to have burning cheeks with “yet her cheek burned so” which alludes to both shame and embarrassment. Her hair is also wet, which I assume to be from sweating as a result of guilt and nervousness. Personally, I always feel saddened by the topic of affair. I feel it is something that has plagued marriages from the beginning of time and I find that no matter the era, the act is no less shameful or guilt provoking or devastating. We hear so often about men having affairs, it was a fresh take to read about a woman pleading on behalf of herself. I believe she was trying to justify herself, “Listen, suppose your time were come to die…Now choose one cloth for ever; which they be, I will not tell you.” I felt as though she were discussing choosing one man forever and how to discern whether or not one man was better than the other. I felt the last three stanzas proclaimed her guilty. Her excitement for Sir Launcelot is revealed in the way she is described as “lean[ing] eagerly” and “joyfully her cheek grew crimson.” While the poem itself does not illicit any feelings from me regarding Guenevere, it does leave me feeling disappointed at the long standing ruin of marriages that affairs bring. I have always found the diction of British Literature to be both eloquent and complex. The articulation of thought feels so sophisticated and while modern diction does not prove to be any less thoughtful, it holds a different level of thought process. Mill's work is no different; he presented an uncommon belief during this period of time. Women, Mill believed, deserved to have social and legal equality to men. As a woman, I found myself cheering on this man from afar. As a feminist, I found myself agreeing with every argument presented. As a Christian, that is where I ran into an internal debate. Men are deemed to lead, and women are not permitted to “teach or to exercise authority over any man” (1 Timothy 2:12). Biblically, women are also declared to be “the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). During the 1800s, religion played a prominent role in society, directing women into submissiveness and men into leadership. Women were viewed as virtuous. “Purity, piety, submissiveness, and domesticity” were among the primary characteristics of women at this time (U.S. History). A woman ran took care of the home and maintained a modest appearance while her husband provided financially.
Women, during this time, were not a legal entity separate from their husbands. This means that any property or money that were hers previous to the marriage, became the man’s following the marriage. To think of myself as having value only through marriage deeply saddens me. To think of a time where my voice would carry no weight is unimaginable. Mill refutes the belief that women are incapable of acting rationally as women had not held office. He questioned how one could fully determine whether a woman would handle a position of power if said determination is based solely on assumption? Until this publication, that very thought had not occurred to me. Additionally, Mill argues that women are emotional because they are brought up to be so, which again, during this time, is quite likely. Mill states: “Standing on the ground of common sense and the constitution of the human mind, I deny that anyone knows, or can know, the nature of the two sexes, as long as they have only been seen in their present relation to one another. If men had ever been found in society without women, or women without men, or if there had been a society of men and women in which the women were not under the control of the men, something might have been positively known about the mental and moral differences which may be inherent in the nature of each” (Mill). Thus, one cannot truly know the difference between men and women – as leaders or as humans. Perhaps, Mill eludes to, women could have been greater. |
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